I've definitely come into my own the past few years. I really don't have time for stress and drama so I've continued to make edits until I've become relatively free of both. While I might still have some (hell no one's that lucky) I try and keep them to a minimum.
Really dig living in PDX. Portland is great with a cool music scene, the country's biggest book store, weather and green grass. We've got an airport that's close, metro-rail and trolley cars through downtown along with a lot of smart people. Hesitate to pump it up too much or we might find ourselves with a lot of new settlers in the area. While I have enjoyed the move at the risk of sounding clique - happiness isn't a destination. If you think a place is going to make you happy, you're only part right. It's most important to find it within your self first and then the people/places/things fall in to order.
A few years back I spend some time searching for a destination after realizing I was having a hard time seeing "the bright side". I finally decided that the person who was responsible for making that change was only going to be me. In making that change I decided to be more selfish (it's truly the root of happiness) and make sure I was taken care of up and beyond anything else in my life. That way whatever was going to make happy was then in place and the people that I was surrounded by where going to appreciate me for who I am not what I might be trying to be.
Ok while I might be ranting a bit I find this to be true - if you make an oath that you are going to do all the things in your life for you, that you're going to get your head straight or find the job you want or something else it will work itself out and more. Sure, you still have have your bad days and good days but the roller coaster going to be so many highs and lows anymore. You know being in the middle it's the same distance up or down.
Chris and Betsy came up to visit last weekend. We had fun going to the U2 concert w/ Tom O'Neil. The weather up here's been amazing, it was 83 yesterday and all kinds of green. I love it when Spring is here. I promise I won't go off on a daffodil tangent like last year though.
I've been doing a little traveling for work, got to hit San Fran a few times, Miami and Las Vegas. I dig San Francisco, it's a neat town. But crazy crazy with the rent and prices. Nice place to visit.
John's graduating this summer, so we are going to take some time off and visit back East. His parents are in SC and the rest of the family in Ohio. We are doing great. He's such an amazing person, we are so much alike, or more to the point we compliment each other well and communication like I've next experienced. We kick it about, do stuff locally and play parents to our 3 cats. You should see me it's funny..here lil' kitty kitty come play with me. Ok, I'm not quite the creepy lady at the end of the street with a ton of cats. I got a man to set the balance straight.
Our new fun traditional is Dim Sum for brunch on Sundays and then we go for a walk in the Chinese or Japanese Gardens locally. They are so calm and relaxing. The Chinese one is newer, it was build downtown with all the materials from our Chinese sister city, it's got a tea house and everything.
The Japanese Garden's are located in the Rose Gardens in Washington Park. John was taking a classes on Eastern Civilization last semester and when up there for the full day's events. Good boy that he is, he brought me back a present, lil' harmony bells. The park has a theater in the round and I hear they put on plays in the summer outside. It's all in Washington Park including the zoo, we got a membership over the winter, they light the place up and you can ride the train through it at night time.
It can buy a Mattress
But not Sleep
It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge
It can buy you a Position
But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine
But not Health
It can buy you Blood
But not Life
It can buy you Sex
But not Love
So you see money isn't everything.
And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend,
and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering.
So send me all your money and
I will suffer for you.
Cash only please.
I have been a member of many online communities since I first fell in love with the technology. From BB's to the Well and GeoCities to email groups, all of which are more active than some cocktail mixers or networking events I've been too. After a particularly heated discussion in a technology group I got an email from a fellow member "We all have different experiences and different points of view; all are worth hearing."
While I agreed in part, I wanted to talk a bit about community etiquette. So I replied:
Very well put. I agree about fostering discussion. I think communication is
a very valuable thing. Second only to compassion and honesty. My point
however mangled it might have come out, was to open the communication
channel, to engage in discussion, to listen. It just started to sound like
"bickering" on the list, not communicating.
There are a lot of things I love, hate, disdain and like in this world and
that includes certain people's point of views. However, I will always
listen, even if I don't understand or agree. It is very important to have
that. I'll be the first one to admit there are certain cultural
idiosyncrasies I am not partial to, hell some flat out disgust me but its
for reasons like that I'm glad to be alive. It's all about striking a
balance.
I don't want to bust out on a moral tangent but I give and get enough to
people that enables me to look myself in the mirror each day and still walk
away smiling. I don't let people label me good/bad, right/wrong or
otherwise. If you feel guilty, righteous, empowered or lame, it's because
you made the decision to feel that way. You can't control what other people
do or say, but you can CERTAINLY control the way you react to it or feel
about. Empowering yourselves; you might find it quite liberating, I do.
There are a couple of email lists I belong to that are related to women working in technology. As I've seen far too frequently in women/girl-related email groups, a discussion thread was started about men joining the group or subscribing to the email following a question about developing a mission statement for the website which quickly turned into male bashing. Will spare you all the drama in between but wanted to share my thoughts I sent the list about creating a more embracing culture in the group:
I was thinking about unsubscribing today and wanted to share with why. All of the "man" bickering of late had me flashing back to another foundational girl group. One of the main reasons I stopped being a member of (name removed) in LA a few years back was because I thought I was joining a pro-woman group that turned into an anti-man group. Personally I think that's the reason Martin Luther King is remembered far fonder than Louis Farrakhan. It's hard sometimes to be a woman and have to deal with feminists. In their attempts to prove women are just like men, feminists fight to get all women into the labor force and combat -- never mind that not all want to join. Those who prefer stay-at-home motherhood are ridiculed. God created men and women, and, thankfully, he created us different. But he still made us equal.
Have you seen the West Wing episode recently about the ERA's Article 14? It was a discussion about guns, Republicans, ERA etc. and one of the cast was really opposed to it. She went on to say she didn't agree with the ERA because it was redundant. This is what she said:
You know, you insist that government is depraved for not legislating against what we can see on the newsstands or what we can see in an art exhibit or what we can burn in protest or which sex we're allowed to have sex with or a woman's right to choose. But don't you dare try to regulate this deadly weapon I have concealed on me for that would encroach against my freedom. And Democrats believe in freedom of speech unless you want to pray while you're standing in school. And you believe in the freedom of information act except if you want to find out if your 14 year old has had an abortion.
A new amendment we vote on declaring that I am equal under the law to a man? I'm mortified to discover there's reason to believe I wasn't before. I'm a citizen of this country. I'm not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old white men. The same Article 14 that protects you protects me. And I went to law school just to make sure.
There are some great articles on the web about this and I'd encourage you to read them before the next email tirade you launch into.
