Why I Love the Internet – Reason Number #396

Hey Crackhead Yes, you.  On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend’s building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off both the sparkplugs on my motorcycle. Thursday I had it towed to the shop ($45) where they replaced the sparkplugs and the boots ($50 including labor). They explained to me that “people” – I use the term loosely here – like you break off the tops of spark plugs and use the porcelain tubes to smoke crack. As an engineer and former MacGyver fan, in a way I think this is kind of cool. But then I remember that I just paid $100 for YOUR crackpipes, and I get angry again.

YOU ARE A CRACKHEAD. WHY DON’T YOU OWN A CRACKPIPE?

I am an engineer. Do you ever see me shaking down bums in the Loin for a calculator and sliderule? No, you don’t. Because engineering is the main thing I do, I went and bought myself a calculator. The main thing you do is crack. How do you get by without a crackpipe? The other crackheads must clown on you non-stop

Here’s the rest of the story on Best of Craigslist.

 

Journalling For Lazy People

Today was really great. I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.

I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy. Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Alex’s friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I’d post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world that I love you all! You’re all so special to me! I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I’ve been in prison. Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here’s ten thousand photographs of my cat.

I want to say thanks to the academy for giving me this award.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, and a healthy imagination. You should all do this quiz! It’s amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what job you’ll do when you grow up.

That’s enough for now. But I’ll leave you with this thought – sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I’m beautiful.

Created with the Gregors’s Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™.

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Can’t find time to write what’s been going on lately so maybe a seasonally relevant funny will tide the masses over – Hey it’s what I’m banking on.

Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and……
Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get me
Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…….

Work of Post-Art in the Age of Symbiotic Reproduction

A review of http://www.xgirl.com from The Market-O-Matic (1.0)

Michele Warther’s work investigates the nuances of pixels through the use of slow motion and close-ups which emphasize the symbiotic nature of digital media. Warther explores abstract and scenery as motifs to describe the idea of infinite artifice. Using loops, non-linear narratives, and slow-motion images as patterns, Warther creates meditative environments which suggest the expansion of time…

The flux creates, the empire accentuates. In the trans-gender artifice, art objects are deprecations of the iterations of the flux — a flux that uses the empire as a zeitgeist to deconstruct ideas, patterns, and emotions. With the synergy of the electronic environment, the flux is superseding a point where it will be free from the empire to transcend immersions into the contortions of the delphic artifice. Work of Post-Art in the Age of Symbiotic Reproduction contains 10 minimal flash engines (also referred to as “memes”) that enable the user to make cultural audio/visual compositions.

  • measuring chains, constructing realities
  • putting into place forms
  • a matrix of illusion and disillusion
  • a strange attracting force
  • so that a seduced reality will be able to spontaneously feed on it

 

Abondanza! A Blast from the Past.

Found myself having a conversation with a co-worker who grew up not too far from me in Connecticut. This lead to the inevitable trip down memory lane online via the Springfield Advocate, which is now Valley Advocate.

Got to thinking about local restaurants we used to visit and came across a review of the Lido Ristorante on Worthington Street. I remembering going to eat there before or after hockey games, always on the weekends because the commissioner of the AHL lived in town so home games were on Friday and Saturdays.

Recall one time I went to Lido’s with my dad and step-mom. My boyfriend at the time was bend out of shape I was going to spend time at my dad’s house that weekend, so he drove into the Lido’s parking lot and stole my dad’s license plate. He figured we’d get pulled over and I’d come home that night to be with him – not the first mouse out of the maze that one.

I love being taken down memory lane when you least expect it.